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There are some software limitations on deleting your own questions; once there is an upvoted answer, for example, you can't unilaterally delete your own question.
I think the consensus is generally that deleting content in a way that causes others effort to be wasted is inappropriate. (For example, if your answer is wrong and someone comments to this effect, it's probably better to either respond to the comment, or edit the answer to indicate you now think it's wrong.)
The legal situation is, I think, that by posting you agree to license your content under the GFDL, meaning that you couldn't attempt to use copyright law to prevent distribution of your content.
Right. If you don't want people seeing it, don't post on the internet in the first place...
If you don't like how the name doesn't match the function, you may think of it as a "conceal from most people" button. It should be possible to cook up some Javascript to change the text on the link.
As far as I know, the StackExchange software does not provide any means for ordinary users to irretrievably delete questions. However, based on your wording, it sounds like you are more interested in the more general question of how to make sure that concealed questions stay concealed. My best answer is that if MO remains a vibrant collection of active and engaged participants, the moderators of the future will be unlikely to transgress against the community expectation, and that you should do what you can to make sure that MO continues to be such a wonderful place. However, this is most likely just a reflection of my (possibly naïve) political views.
That said, I can think of some extraordinary methods for making things disappear for good, in increasing order of difficulty: having a moderator merge your question with another question (needs a really good reason), asking the people who run the underlying database to delete the record (needs an even better reason), filing for and obtaining an injunction in a court with jurisdiction, hiring a team of commandos/hackers/terrorists, airstrike, orbital bombardment.
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