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Myself, I'm not wowed by Gerhard Paseman's suggestion, but I agree that precisification may improve your main question. Your main question is certainly a good one, and I think many young and old researchers (myself included!) would like to learn more about how to write well. I worry that it is outside the trying-to-be-narrow scope of MO.
If memory serves, there are some MO questions generating lists of good mathematical writing? If these do exist, I suggest you look at them, and think about what works and what doesn't. If it does not exist, I could imagine you asking for such a list, or focus it on a list of articles with well-written introductions.
I would support a (CW!) question asking not for advice about how to write an introduction, but for things that people like in good introductions. For example, I like "sign-posting", when you very clearly lay out what you are going to say before saying it. So that answers don't draw on, if I were asking the question I would specify that I was looking for one-sentence answers.
precisification?!
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